Leave. Immediately. DNR. (do not respond… or do not resuscitate – your feelings for this person)
Friend zone is rejection 9 times out of 10, bro.
The girl just wanted to phrase it nicely so you wouldn’t get too mad (which is silly, because you’re probably mad anyway no matter how sweetly she drops the hammer).
If she does hit you up after that (1/10), she does actually want to be friends. It’s rare, but it happens.
Get her to be your wing-woman! Women are drawn to men with women friends – it’s a stamp of approval. Use that to your advantage.
For the love of all things holy though – do NOT keep trying to get with the girl who friend-zoned you, brah. Not cool.
You ruin it for all of us. Fun story to prove a point:
This girl FZ’d me after our first date. We had mutual friends, so we had hung out in a group setting before. I didn’t text her again until I was in her area for the night. I hit her up to see if she wanted to hit a bar with me. She said she was already out with friends and invited me to join them. They hit on me, I hit on them. The one who was all over me ended up having a boyfriend who she cheated on with a Brazilian guy, who she flew to visit in Brazil after 4 months, where he proposed to her – she dumped him and flew back to the States. I dodged a bullet.
Then we hung out a couple more times just chilling and drinking, me asking her to introduce me to more of her friends, but preferably ones who don’t cheat on their boyfriends. She texts me one day a few weeks later (we talked twice a month tops), asking if I wanted to go to a movie with her, but put “PS this is NOT a date”.
I was quite insulted. We had hung out like 4-5 times since she FZ’d me and it was obvious I had no interest in barking up that tree again. She said, “Sorry I’ve had guys in the past not get the message and keep trying to go out with me.” I haven’t talked with her since the last text I sent her: “you should know me better than that by now and realize that not all men are the same.” Whatever. Friends come and go. Lovers too.
Moral of the story: Don’t be a whiny bitch, dude. If you get friend-zoned, move on. Immediately. There’s too many women out there who would be interested in you for you to waste literally one more minute on someone who isn’t. Next!
Once you get in that mindset, people will take note. Women will notice. You have an abundance mentality: there are quite literally billions of women on this planet. If one doesn’t want you, find one who does. It’s that simple.
Don’t let that shit get to you. I used to let it tear me apart. I was so mad. I’d be pissed that she “lead me on.” I didn’t care about the rejection, but I took it personally when we’d go out and then I’d get FZ’d. I preferred getting rejected straight up. Like before a date. Because after a date or two, the rejection is a little personal.
But it’s personal to her. Which I didn’t realize. She may not be in the right head space. Doesn’t matter her reason. Just leave. Spend your time with people who want to be with you and your life will improve greatly.
Hey, facts!
Just got FZ by a woman with whom we have been in this weird relation. Where one time it would seem as we are friends and other times I would think that there is something more than just friendship. So, I got balls and asked her directly. She said I am just a “Friend”. I laughed hard cause every time I tried to make a move on someone else, I would think back at her and hesitate cause I thought there was more than just friendship between us.
Now, I am quite relieved. The stresses is off now, I know where I stand with her.
I don’t know if I should still text her or just cut her off my life.
Any advice?
Hey John Wick! That happened to me when I was in my teens. At least now you know!
I would treat her like one of your bros – she is not special. No hanging out one-on-one.
You don’t have to cut her off, but you definitely have to not do her any favors, and don’t text her first ever anymore. If she hits you up, respond. That way you know she’s interested in being your friend.
If she doesn’t give you friend favors, then cut her off completely. She said you two were friends – she should be willing to help you move, buy you a beer, etc. If not, she was just using you and you never talk to her again.
Definitely start asking other girls out immediately. As many as it takes to get a few dates asap. That will help you move on from thoughts of your friend, if she is really that.
Hope that helps! Let me know how it goes!