Say a few nice words to five people per day.
That’s the challenge. Start simple. One person. Preferably a stranger. Why a stranger? They’re definitely not expecting it, so it’ll seem completely genuine. It’ll brighten their day, which could have a nice butterfly effect. And since you don’t know them, the potential for awkwardness is lower. There’s no backstory between you two and there likely never will be a future one.
Also, it teaches you to not fish for compliments. Because that’s not cool. That’s self-serving narcissism. We have too much of that in the country and world.
Ramp it up from there. Two people per day. Then three. You don’t have to stop at five. Maybe it’ll be easy for you to hit 10.
Go to a coffee shop and compliment everyone in there before you sit down. I bet you get at least 95% positivity and friendliness in return.
And don’t do it to get a date. Expect nothing in return. Not even a thank you. I’ve complimented strangers on the subway before and only received awkward blushing and fumbling in return. It’s cool. It probably still made her day. Which is what really matters.
And I felt good knowing I made other people feel good. It’s a win-win. And free.
Lots of research shows that generosity and charitable giving provide happiness in the giver. There’s a lot of psychology in it, but I won’t go there in this post. But that costs money.
This challenge – complimenting people – is absolutely free and takes only a couple seconds of your busy day.
Are you dating someone? Compliment them every single day. And do it when they are least expecting it. Not when you’re trying to initiate sex. Randomly. Text them. At 2:30p while they’re working. You want more romance/passion in your relationship, this will get you there.
Compliment people of the same sex and opposite sex, regardless your sexual orientation. This will help you become more comfortable talking with all people. We’re all human. We’re all flawed and we know it (most of us at least, haha).
Here’s a caveat too: don’t give a general compliment on someone’s looks, especially the people you are sexually attracted to. At least not first. When you do, that’s seen as a weak come-on. Be specific. Start with their sense of style or their smile. For people you know, compliment them on something you know about them that a stranger wouldn’t: sense of humor, intelligence, their ideas, their quirks, the way they talk, the way they treat others, etc.
You can make the world a better place. Start today. And for $0. What’s holding you back?