There’s too many fish in the sea.

You have to filter your options so you aren’t overwhelmed by choice.

But how should you go about doing that in an effective and efficient manner?

I don’t know what will be best for you. I do know what works for me. So I’ll share that and maybe it’ll help you get to your best method.

Here’s the 5 steps to filtering out the terrible partners for you:

 

1 – Know yourself. Self awareness, amigo. It’s a must.

Maybe you’re 20 or you’ve only had 1 partner and have no idea what you really like. Figure that out.

It didn’t take me long to realize I need to be with a smart girl. I can’t deal with stupidity. I also know I can’t stand high-maintenance girls. I’m spending my energy trying to achieve my goals. I don’t have the energy to deal with a high-maintenance woman.

Take the love languages test. It’s important to know this about yourself. Find a partner who communicates in a similar style or at least is willing to communicate their love for you in ways that matter most to you.

 

2 – Know what matters to you and find a partner who has similar views on that stuff.

Values are important. Matching values is a key indicator in successful relationships.

If the two of you have different tastes in food or music, you can adjust. If you have different value systems, you’re headed for trouble. That’s a serious misalignment.

If your political or religious views are very important to you – filter for that. Talk about it early. Don’t waste time on someone who isn’t going to be a match.

 

3 – Find someone who can appreciate your eccentricities.

I’m weird. I know this. I need a girl who can roll with my weirdness at the least, preferably she’ll enjoy my weirdness and find it quite endearing.

So I don’t hide it. At all. I get that shit out there first date. Not kidding.

I’m an emotional guy. Heart on my sleeve type. Super caring. I let her know. Not necessarily explicitly, but we’ll be talking about something and I’ll see an opportunity to mention I’m a softie. Like movies – I cry at movies. Like a lot of them. It doesn’t take much. I cried at a superhero movie. Ok fine, it was two superhero movies. But when I say that and own it, the woman will have one of two reactions: 1) love that I’m comfortable with myself and saying that in front of her or 2) hate that I am a giant ball of emotion that has no qualms with being a man who cries a lot. Boom. Filtered.

 

4 – Be blunt.

Say exactly what you mean. If they can handle it and rolls with you – you’re gold. If they get uncomfortable, they’ll bail. Filtered.

I am allergic to political correctness. I literally say things trying to offend people all the time. I do it comedically though, so it’s cool. Obvi.

When I do this on a date, I’m “finding the line” with a girl. What’s her threshold? I keep upping the ante to see how much “offensiveness” she can take. I’m not gross. There’s a big difference. I just make jokes about things you aren’t supposed to joke about. Is it taboo? I’ll make fun of it. Nothing is off limits.

I need to know that if I say something I find funny that pisses people off, she’ll have my back and cover for me. And I find everything potential comedy material.

There is no line for me. But I’m aware other people have them, so I actively do/say things to find their’s. If your sense of humor doesn’t match hers, it won’t go well. Filtered.

 

5 – Know what you’re looking for and communicate that.

If your date is looking for a fling and you want to get married, that’s a bad match and someone is going to get hurt. You need to be on the same page.

State your intentions early and you avoid causing pain and problems for your partner and yourself. Don’t assume you know what the other is thinking.

 

Communication is a great filter. Happy dating!

 

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