Are you finding yourself getting rejected too often? I get it. I’ve been there.

I recommend using that alone time productively. It’s literally how to get the girl/guy you want.

Learn yourself. Knowing yourself is super important. Knowing how to be alone is a super valuable skill.

Nobody likes co-dependent people. Don’t be that.

Be self-sufficient. Learn skills.

As Napoleon Dynamite brilliantly said, “Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!”

Although his list of skills is completely ridiculous, the overarching point is right.

Want to get the girl/guy? Get some damn skills.

Learn to do something useful: Be interesting. Be funny. (Don’t know how? – I can help you. You can get books on this stuff too.) Read more – then you’ll be more interesting. Not video game guides or gossip magazines. Read books.

Know something valuable. Know how to connect with people. Build cool things. Write cool things (like I do, duh). Share those things with people. They’ll be drawn to you.

There’s no super secret shortcut to getting the girl/guy. Tricks may work briefly, but they’ll eventually fall apart. People will see behind the veil. Your scam will be exposed.

To get and keep someone’s attention: be interesting. Be the kind of person other people want to be around.

And if your goal is to get a good-looking girl/guy – you need to be attractive too. People tend to seek a mate/partner who is physically attractive. Don’t like that? It’s science. You can’t argue with science.

But if you need help with becoming better looking – I can help. I gained 15 pounds emotionally eating and not exercising two separate times I was depressed (including once when my mom got leukemia). Then I lost 25 pounds and started dating the type of women I wanted to be with – smart and pretty. Even though I am not rich and didn’t have a steady job.

I’m probably also gonna have to lose a bunch of weight again after that Thanksgiving feast and day-after T-Giving leftover feasting. So, we’ll be in it together.

It’s amazing what you can do when you focus on improving yourself.

Don’t think about the externalities or trying to manipulate them into giving you what you want. Focus on making yourself into the best version of you and people will be attracted to you without you putting in any extra effort on them.

When you focus on what you can control, everything else takes care of itself.